What If I Make the Wrong Decision?
- Robyn Milham
- Mar 30
- 4 min read
Updated: Jun 18
How to Move Forward When You Don't Feel Ready
The Road I'm Walking Right Now
As I write this article, I'm aware of something slightly ironic.
For years I have coached people through change. I've helped people navigate grief, uncertainty, difficult decisions, relationship challenges, career transitions, and those moments when life no longer feels like it fits.
Yet today I find myself standing on my own edge of uncertainty.
I've been qualified as a coach for some time. Much of my coaching work has come through referrals and word of mouth. Quiet conversations. Personal recommendations. One person telling another.
But this is different.
For the first time, I am putting myself out there publicly through Mindover Matters.
For the first time, I am sharing my story.
For the first time, I am allowing people to see not just the coach, but the person behind the coaching.
And if I'm honest, that's uncomfortable.
I don't know exactly how this journey will unfold.
Will people resonate with what I write?
Will this coaching practice grow?
Will sharing my story help someone feel less alone?
I don't know.
And that's precisely the point.
"As you start to walk on the way, the way appears." — Rumi
The lesson I'm writing about is one I'm currently living.
"What if I make the wrong decision?" - From Feeling Stuck to Finding Clarity
If you've read my previous articles, you'll know that this piece is part of a journey.
In my first article, I explored why we feel stuck. In the second, I explored the strange space that often follows stuckness — the place where we realise the old life no longer fits, but the new one hasn't fully emerged.
This article is about what often comes next.
Fear.
Specifically, the fear of making the wrong decision.
Why We Wait
Many of us believe we are waiting for clarity.
What we're often really waiting for is certainty.
We want guarantees. We want proof. We want a sign that the decision will work out before we commit to it.
The problem is that life rarely offers those guarantees.
Most meaningful decisions arrive wrapped in uncertainty.
Decision Paralysis
Behavioural researchers often refer to this as decision paralysis.
When faced with uncertainty, we analyse. We compare. We research. We delay.
Instead of moving forward, we become trapped in thinking.
The Decision Lab has written extensively about choice overload and the paradox of choice.
The more options we have, the harder it can become to choose.
Barry Schwartz popularised this idea through his work on the Paradox of Choice. More options don't always create freedom. Sometimes they create anxiety.
I see this often in coaching.
Should I change careers? Should I leave the relationship? Should I start the business? Should I move? Should I take the opportunity?
The questions are different. The underlying fear is often the same.
What if I get it wrong?
The Myth of the Perfect Decision
One of the most liberating ideas I've encountered is this:
There may not be a perfect decision.
Most of the decisions that shape our lives are not exams with a right and wrong answer.
They are invitations into experience.
When I look back on my own life, the moments that changed me most didn't come with certainty attached.
They came with possibility. And often, with fear.
Rumi and the Road
The older I get, the more I appreciate the wisdom in Rumi's words.
"As you start to walk on the way, the way appears."
At first glance, it sounds poetic.
But I think it is also profoundly practical.
Many of us live as though life should reveal the entire map before we begin.
We want to see every turn in the road. We want certainty before commitment.
But perhaps life doesn't work that way. Perhaps the path reveals itself through movement. Perhaps confidence is not something we find before action. Perhaps confidence is something we build because of action.
What Happened When I Started Walking
Launching Mind Over Matters has reminded me of this truth.
I could have waited another year. I could have spent months refining, polishing, and preparing. I could have waited until I felt completely ready. But eventually I realised that readiness wasn't coming.
The only way forward was forward.
So I started writing. I launched the website. I began sharing my story.
And something interesting happened.
The clarity I was looking for started arriving after I began moving. Not before.
Five Lessons About Fear and Action
Waiting for certainty can become a way of avoiding growth.
The next step is usually more important than the entire plan.
Fear and intuition are not the same thing.
Most meaningful decisions involve uncertainty.
Confidence grows through action.
How Coaching Helps
As a Life Coach in Johannesburg and Life Coach in Pretoria, I often work with people who are standing exactly where I have stood.
They are navigating life transitions. They are facing uncertainty. They are wrestling with decision paralysis. They are trying to work out what comes next.
Coaching doesn't remove uncertainty.
What it can do is help you hear yourself more clearly.
It can help you separate fear from truth. And it can help you find the courage to take the next step.
Ready to Take Your Next Step?
If you're feeling stuck between where you are and where you want to be, coaching can help.
Whether you're navigating a career transition, a relationship challenge, a personal crossroads, or simply a feeling that life no longer fits, you don't have to figure it out alone.
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